Matt Bateman
Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Not me, apparently.
My roommates and I were watching Jeopardy and eating chips when a commercial popped up. Tryouts for "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" at our local mall. I didn’t think much of it. When I was a kid, the show was fresh and exciting. People talked about it. Kids at school made their own versions. Now it was just an old show.
Still, I made an agreement to meet a friend at the tryout. She bailed, but I figured I might as well give it a shot. After filling out a few forms, I was sat in a large room full of desks where everyone was given a test. We had ten minutes to answer thirty questions. It felt just like school.
Those who passed were brought to another room. A worker sat and chatted with me, just to get a feel for my personality. It's a shock I passed that phase. The final gauntlet was inside a tiny storage closet where they had a camcorder and spotlight. I blinked against the light and answered trivia questions.
“Don’t just say the answer, work through it out loud. Show us what you’re thinking through and why you’re picking that answer.” So I took my time and answered. They announced I was correct.
“Yay,” I said.
“No, no, show some enthusiasm. Get into it,” they told me. It’s hard to be enthusiastic on demand, but I clapped and cheered. After a few more questions, they clicked off the camera and told me if the producers were interested I'd get a call. Two weeks later I got an email, then a call. A producer spoke with me for a few minutes, then said, “How does August 5-6th look for you?”
Is that your Final Answer?
My father travelled with me as my "plus one." We visited New York City before riding the train to Stamford, Connecticut. We arrived early, immediately had our phones confiscated, toured the studio, and did a practice question on stage. For the rest of the day, we were locked in the green room. The other contestants talked about their time on Jeopardy or other game shows, like this was their profession. I felt very out of place.
At the end of the day, I didn’t make it into the schedule, and they asked me to return the next morning. After only an hour or so, they announced that I was next in line. They took us through makeup and whizzed us downstairs to be “on deck.” The girl before me lost fast, and without warning, I was pushed on stage.
Chris Harrison said hello and shook my hand, they told me to go stand on my mark, and within a few minutes they were filming. They’d chosen to play up the ‘poor college student’ angle, so I was introduced as such and went through a whirlwind of questions. It was fun, and I was genuinely enjoying myself.
At the commercial break, I chatted with Chris Harrison. Someone came in to rile up the audience. I’d made it through the first five questions smoothly, but things were getting more difficult. I used a few lifelines.
We ran out of time. I was pushed out to go change for “the next day” of filming. They rearranged the audience so it would look different. A producer told me to not clap so close to the microphone and encouraged me to push forward.
“Remember, we don’t do trick questions - go with your gut,” she said. My dad and I laughed about the questions. I was having fun. I didn’t want to play it safe, I’d try to get through to the next level. I returned to the set and sat in the crowd as they prepared to start filming. A group of women from the south patted me on the back and told me I was doing well. The lights turned on, I walked down to play again, and the show resumed. Eventually I arrived at the tenth question. $50,000, and a breakpoint where I’d be safe with that minimum of money if I made it. The question flashed onto the board. It listed four performers, and said they were all just shy of earning an EGOT. Which one did not have a tony? Cyndi Lauper, Al Pacino, Julie Andrews, or Elton John.
Hmm. I barely knew who Cyndi Lauper was, and I wasn’t feeling sure at all, so I used my last lifeline - 50/50. The only choices that remained were Al Pacino and Julie Andrews. I knew Julie Andrews had been on Broadway in “My Fair Lady.” Al Pacino? Come on. Julie Andrews is a treasure. It seemed like a layup. I went with Al Pacino, final answer.
...Of course, I was wrong. Turns out I underestimated Al Pacino. I couldn't believe the Dunkaccino guy had a lauded career on Broadway, but as it turns out, he won in 1969 for “Does a Tiger Wear a Necktie?” So just like that, I was whisked off stage. In a dark crevice beneath the stage, someone had me sign a few legal forms. A few seconds later, we were outside the building. Done.
I got the check a few months later - $5,000. I used most of it to visit Europe. I had a blast being on the show, and I'm glad to have had the experience. I've only found one person who has gotten that question right, so I don't feel too bad. Still, I can't help but feel Julie Andrews really should have won that Tony.
